Welcome to Chapter 12 of Dan Bennett - The Diary of a Bored Kid!
Welcome back team!
Happy Monday! Hope everyone is looking forward to the week ahead and the halloween hangover isn't too bad!
Despite the title, todays topic is going to be about you, the reader. I wanted the title to be something like, you, yourself and you but that didn't sound quite right. So here we are.. Me, Myself and I... But it's about you.
As social creatures humans have evolved to need be apart of the pack, part of a community. We can see this with the evolution of the education system, the workplace, even the family home. Chances are, your family are likely to congregate in certain parts of the house.. the living room, the kitchen, wherever it may be. Humans need social stimulation which we often get from associating with people and different members of society.
Growing up through your childhood, during University, post college, playing with different sports teams I'd bet that you tried very hard to be part of the "group" - Whether it's the stereotypical 'Mean Girls' movie, where the girl tries ever so hard to be part of the "Cool kid" group - It is very common that as humans we need that acceptance into social groups. Despite this being a key part of our evolution, one of the things about this that I find really tough is that often as younger kids growing up we are very malleable. We are still trying to find ourselves.... What makes us tick, who we are, who we like and what we want to be when we grow up.
The scary part about this though is that, if we are always trying to be part of the group and fit in, then often we can never really become our true selves. You will be growing up with the identity of someone built to mould into an outside group you are trying to associate with. Obviously, you can be very lucky and find your tribe very early on - where you can just be the true you, from the outset.
But what if you don't find that? The chances are you're going to try your hardest to associate to something, a social group of some kind that gives you that social connection.
Often, it is not until college or even post college that people really become their true selves as they have experimented with so many different personalities by that point that they eventually find one they are comfortable with that allows them to be their true self.
Steven Bartlett in his most recent podcast in regards to his personal anecdotes of growing a business states; "Maybe we're not just on the journey to being more human, but we're on the journey to be ourselves. Maybe that's what it's all about."
So back to todays post:
Be yourself. Be undeniably, Unashamedly yourself.
Trust me I wish I hadn't listened to the outside noise and learned this way before I did. Don't fraud yourself into thinking that you have to mould your personality to adapt the outside opinions of others.
You're only cheating yourself, and people will see right through it.
Trust me I have been there. It is only by being there and doing all of these things do I feel like I have any right to be offering any sort of advice to my readers.
Be your true self, and those who like you, for you, will stick around and those who don't... Well I am afraid they have just done you a massive favor.
At 16 I turned into a fraud because I was trying to be something and someone I wasn't, to fit into a new school environment, to fit in with groups of people I don't think I even liked anyway. It's so sad to admit but it's true.
At 16 I left a small safe, comfortable environment and moved to a much larger and much more intimidating environment. Unfortunately, as an insecure youngster trying to fit in, I rammed my very square peg to fit the social norms of the very circle holes that awaited me in my new environment.
The same happens when people go and work in a new business environment, a new job, a new department at work. You are immersing yourself into an external culture and oftentimes if your personality and that business environment don't match then likely you will find yourself fitting, like I did fitting your square peg into that companies round hole and trying your hardest to fit in. That's why I not only badger on about values so much and knowing what you want, but also why who you are, what makes you tick, the environment and the people you have around you are so vitally important.
If I could offer any advice?
Find your tribe. Trust me they are out there. Don't do what I did and just fit in just to fit in. You're only cheating you and future you by acting like something / someone you're not. This is why I am designing The Accountability Academy - An environment where people are 100% surrounded by like minded individuals, dedicated to self development and can be totally authentic to themselves and the goals they set.
It is so important to be yourself, because as the old adage goes 'no one else can be you, but you.' I understand it is hard growing up, moving environments, changing teams, working for new companies and moving cities - trust me I have been there and done all of that. However, what I now know is that you can do all of the above and be authentic to yourself and those around you will appreciate the authenticity.
To round up this weeks post: This all sounds cheese and cringe I know. But trust me, everyone hates a fraud. Everyone hates those, who act like someone they aren't, to fit into a group of people they don't even like. Don't be that person. Don't be 16 year old me. Instead.. Just be yourself. Be the best version of you there can be. Invest in yourself. Be your true you. Find your tribe. Analyze your environment. Have a laugh. Have fun. And as the founder of Nike says "Just do it."
Cheers guys! DB