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Quality Not Quantity #Return of the Tash

Welcome to Chapter 5 of Dan Bennett - The Diary of a Bored Kid! 




Welcome back to Chapter 5 of the Diary of a Bored Kid! Thank you for joining me again. 

So today is my last day in Charlotte NC. We've had a great few weeks! I've spent time with friends I haven't seen in ages. I've worked out, eaten great food and drank even better drinks. Never did I think that this City would have so many amazing breweries and restaurants. The level has been insane and an unreal second stop on my Tour De Universe.

It's fair to say the Liver has had a fair old punishment over the past 2 weeks, but it is all justified as I've worked out most days. Oh well - how often is it that you can say, you've lived and explored a completely new city with friends! 


Rather have the regret over indulgence than the regret of not enough. (Just made that up - But I think it sounds relevant!)


So todays post is all about "Quality over Quantity". The age old saying - the quality of something is much more important than the quantity of something. 

This is something that I think relates to so many different aspects of life. In Business, having better quality customers is greater than having more customers. In Fitness, completing better quality reps in the gym, is better than completing 800 absolutely shocking reps without the correct range of motion, 3-4 hours of intense focussed work is better than 20 hours of monotonous underwhelming inefficient work; and finally, having quality people in your life, is greater than having 500 people with little to no connection. 


This brings us to todays post. In step - Matt and Deanna. 


3 Years ago, I was on a boat in the Caribbean with 4 of my friends for Spring Break 2017. 5000 people on a cruise ship island hopping between Jamaica, Dominican Republic and Grand Turks. 


If you would have told me that I would meet people in an extremely drunken state on a boat, and 3 years later we would still be hanging out and now in turn are a huge part of my life. I wouldn't have believed you.


Here is where the idea of Quality vs Quantity comes in. Just because someone has been in your life for 20+ years, is no reason to assume that that person has your best interests at heart or is best for you moving forward. 


In my previous posts I have badgered on about environment, habits, social media, so on and so forth. But today I want to discuss a very important aspect to personal happiness, and that is who you have in your circle. 


I am renowned for having a very small circle. Although, from the outside I have 50+ people on my Collegiate Soccer Alumni, I have my high school friends back in the UK, I have my Boston crew up North. In actual fact, my deep relationships are very few and far between and that's how I like it. I choose it to be that way. Maybe I'm lazy and can't be arsed to put up with so many people, but I like keeping my close people close and then having a range of people in my outside circle. 


So back to what I was saying.... Quality over Quantity. 3 years ago we met Matt and Deanna, in a jacuzzi, hammered, sipping on some bright red Rum drinks floating in the middle of the Caribbean... 3 years later, I have visited them numerous times in Charlotte, they visited me up in Boston, I was on Matt's bachelor party, (Was almost invited on the bachelorette party) and I was also there on the most important day of their lives - their wedding day. I was also there the morning after as the 3 of us drove very hungover back to the airport as they dropped me back for my flight (Legends.) - We were also meant to have an International trip to Spain booked with 6 of us this year but as mentioned before because of COVID that plan went royally tits up.


Although I was known at the wedding as "The Dude they met on the Cruise" - To this day, I think the genuinity of a relationship is much more important than the duration and length of time of that relationship. 


This can be seen with romantic relationships as well as personal relationships. Have you ever noticed that within a year of becoming romantically involved with someone you had no idea how you lived life without them before? 


It is no surprise that it is said that you are the average of the 5 closest people you hang around with. With that being said then, I want to ensure that my closest are on the same mission and have the same mindset that I do and that all of my closest relationships are the most genuine and most supportive.  


Although, Matt and Deanna live on the other side of the country as me - It is safe to say that the friendship is so genuine. Heck, they even let me stay at their place for 2 weeks and have both helped massively with shaping and advising me on this website, as well as being incredible tour guides for Charlotte. These aren't the kind of things that happen if the connection isn't completely genuine and organic! 


Oftentimes in life, I think it is common we grow up in an environment and find it difficult to leave that environment at fear of being judged for wanting growth. Well I am here to tell you, that unfortunately that is part of the parcel for attaining growth. There will be friendships and relationships that do not make the test of time. This is a good thing and should definitely be seen as a positive. Not only should you have very specific people in your life, you should have people on your side who want to see you grow and succeed. Genuine relationships are few and far between, it is very easy to have a quantity of personal relationships, but it is much harder to find those have a deep interest in your success and well being. When these come along, you need to cherish them - These are the relationships that will stand the test of time.


With this being said, although it is difficult to leave friendships behind it is necessary to have these tough conversations with yourself for your own personal, mental and emotional development. 


"The grass isn't always greener on the other side, instead the grass is greener where you water it." 


The relationships that you water are likely to bud into something more organic and positive. Invest time in those around you who want the same things as you, if you cant find people on the same path as you in your circle, unfortunately you have to outwardly go out of your way to find people on the same path as you. In the 21st century, there is no reason you cannot find those around you who want the same things as you. Although, it is uncomfortable to put yourself out there it is imperative to do so and find those who you are on the same mission as you. 


I am very fortunate that through my years of sport I have met and teamed up with so many amazingly talented individuals. Now looking back on my playing career, I am now able to go and water those relationships that I want to carry on in my life. It is very easy for these relationships to fall at the weigh side if not watered, but by giving certain relationships attention they have developed and become genuine positive relationships built on personal development and have key values at the core. These are the relationships, that when 60 years old sitting on the porch swing, we'll be sat together chatting and looking back reminiscing about our success and failures. I'll likely be the one with no hair.. 


To conclude, I will keep todays post short and sweet: 


Question the relationships around you. Are they genuine? Do the people around you have your best interests at heart or do they like you being in your comfort zone and in-turn in their comfort zone? Are you keeping the friends around you because of the duration of that relationship and not the quality of that relationship? 

As is life, People change and evolve, so should the relationships you have with people in your life. A huge factor of Life Design is by controlling the people you have in your life. 


You're the CEO of your life therefore you need to hire and fire accordingly. 


If you are to be the average of your 5 closest, then make sure you are averaging A's and not D's. 


As always it's been real! 


Onto St Pete tonight and then Miami for the big 26.. 


Thank you! 


DB

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